”Ah, great it is to believe the dream as we stand in youth by the starry stream; But a greater thing is to fight life’s battles through, and say at the end, the dream is true.”     Edwin Markham, poet

We never know where our paths will lead us and as time passes we’re often caught unaware, and certainly disappointed by the cruelties that life can present.

My unexpected divorce has led me onto many new adventures of inner growth, all mixed with a newfound warrior spirit, injected with endless battles of courage. Fortunately one of these many paths unexpectedly led me back to my old creative self, and to the beloved camera I had hidden way under the thickets of sorrow and giving my power away.

Alas … welcome to my new blog, and I hope to open your eyes and heart to my story of photography and fashion and style and travel…. all will be fun, I promise!

Life kicked me in the ass, the orchestration of divine moments intervened, and the fight of life’s battle began. Mustering up a tiny bit of courage I picked up my brand new Nikon D 800 and wept. Not with joy, but with a sense of pity, despair, and fear. I knew nothing about digital cameras, less about computers and forget lightroom.

My drawers were full of old rolls of film, dusty and lonely, exactly how I felt.  Starting all over, at my age, was hard enough, a new location, a new home, and even more weird, living with my mother.

My new Nikon sat, in it’s intimidating box, unopened, for a long time.  Little by little, I began hearing an odd cry, it was my Nikon crying!  Her wails became louder they where surprising and amazing,

I realized it was exactly nine months to the date I had brought her home.

I could hear her cries becoming whimpers, begging  for me to pick her up from behind closet doors, carefully  hidden behind an old camera  lens.

Shame swept over me , and my heart ached to hold her on my shoulder and to pick up the other pieces that were locked in my fear….. my hidden fear of a ….TECHNO NO BRAIN… me.

Oh, to conquer the scary digital world of photography, I shivered and without thinking I flung open my closet door. There she sat, blinking at me with all of her black boldness and shining beauty. ”You can do it Heidi,” she whispered from the depths of darkness, ”I will promise to crawl with you, and soon I will take you home, where you’re creativity lies, in the boldness of your spirit, and into the art, which is called …your eye… don’t be afraid, you’re ready, and I will take you there. “Ok,” I said, trembling with trepidation, doubt circling my soul. I carefully picked her up, laid her next to her new ordained god parent, my computer, and with new hope, I told her we needed some help.

Jade Gates, Steve Stennes, Bootstrap Tactics and the Johnson camera shop, became our teachers and cheerleaders, guiding us both onto the path of techno, digital, education. And as my camera lens opened, so did my heart.

“Hello techno world,” I said out loud with fierce determination, “me and my baby Nikon D800 are now here together…so shove over, and let’s create some magic!”

”Yes”, my baby companion happily said. And with a new light in her eye, she shouted, up into the sun above, “lets come out of the shadow, and shine!”

Please stay tuned, for post 2. My new baby and me explore my past in photography, and why it’s important to venture into fearlessness

If you like to contact my amazing teachers Click on each name.

Jade Gates 

Steve Stennes 

Johnson camera shop

Bootstrap Tactics



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